


A hardscrabble kind of love

by seulgimyeon (pcysarcasm)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Dragon AU, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 22:18:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14174556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcysarcasm/pseuds/seulgimyeon
Summary: Junmyeon is a lonley man who lives in the woods. However, one day he stumbles upon a strange creature and encounters love.





	A hardscrabble kind of love

 

 

 

> pure, & i mean that:   
>  his hair touching my arm as he sleeps.  
>  imagine feeling that safe. i can.   
>    
>  i do. the terror of all times stops, the night  
>  freezes. he shifts quietly but doesn’t wake. 
> 
> soft midnight breathing like a blue hammock,  
>  paradisiacal. everything evil becomes bearable.
> 
> & i think, _i’ve loved you the whole_  
>  of my life, which isn’t possible,   
>  _my life only started when i loved you_ ,   
>  which is.
> 
> - [daedalians](http://daedalians.tumblr.com/post/142000519165/pure-i-mean-that-her-hair-touching-my-arm-as)
> 
>  

 

A list of things that need to be done wrap around Junmyeon’s mind, pestering him to get moving, get the day started. But he has to wait a few more minutes, he can’t get out of bed just yet. His eyes scan the room, taking in the way the sunlight filters through the trees, warmth and radiance descending from the ever-blue sky into green and golden leaves, and finally into his own home, warming it.

Junmyeon goes over his to-do-list in his mind. He needs to refill his stock, go out in the woods and find as much as possible. On top of that, a delivery needs to be made, and all of that has to be prepared. The more important balms and salves are all ready, but the herbs still need tending. Pruning, cleaning, separating for some, milling for others. That’s what he has to work on later.

A few more rays of light streak through the slight opening in the curtains. Junmyeon sighs, figuring he has let himself wait long enough. 

As soon as Junmyeon is outside his mood changes. The weather is good, and he quickly finds the last missing ingredients for the delivery. Something about being in the woods calms him, this feeling of nothing nearby besides his own little cabin for miles. He starts to hum a familiar melody while walking the path that he has walked countless times as a child. 

A few times Junmyeon passes by animals - rabbits, deer, squirrels - but he pays almost no attention to them, his eyes focused on finding everything he needs for creating balms, herbs and medicine. The woods aren’t as deep and dark here and therefore don’t have dangerous animals lurking around. 

Because of that, Junmyeon doesn’t think anything is wrong when he first hears an unfamiliar sound. He turns into the sound’s direction, following it until his attention is drawn by a damaged tree that has been snapped right in half. It looks as if something big has slammed into it with incredible force.

Following the broken trunk of the tree, Junmyeon’s gaze settles on a deep trench that has been torn violently into the ground. On each side of it stand a couple more broken trees, completely snapped in two aswell. Whatever has caused this clear path of destruction must’ve been big.

Nervousness is not even the right word to describe the tight knot that settles in Junmyeon’s stomach, and pushes through his chest, making it harder for him to breathe.

Not even two feet away from him there’s something laying on the ground. Junmyeon’s legs freeze. He can’t move. 

The creature is small, maybe twice Junmyeon’s size, and black. It’s laying on the ground, its beautiful black scales gleaming in the sun. Junmyeon remains still, and just stands there, absolutely stunned, not sure whether to panic or enjoy the sight.

The creature seems to be having wings and a tail. A dragon maybe?

Junmyeon’s ears quickly bring to attention the sound that has alerted him moments before. The creature is crying. It’s bleeding from small scratches in his back with a few other spots on his wings.

Then suddenly, the creature lifts its head and returns Junmyeon’s gaze, its iries a striking crystal blue. Startled, the creature scans him nervously, head turned around as its body shifts in the attempt to get some space between them, its eyes wide in fear.

Junmyeon’s heart start to race, suddenly able to look past the creature’s beauty, and finally seeing it’s condition. He tries to step forward to get a better look at the bleeding spots and gets a very loud warning from the dragon in response. 

He finds his head spinning, not sure what to do. Slowly, he holds out his arms, taking a few steps towards the dragon.

“Hey, beautiful thing,” he softly mumbles, trying his best to console it.

The dragon freezes for a second, looking down at him with bright, blue eyes, seemingly questioning him.

“It’s okay,” Junmyeon continues, “You’re safe. I’m trying to help you, okay?”

At first, the dragon seems to be unsure how to react and screams at him again, but when Junmyeon makes another step forward, it sniffs at him, flitting itself off the ground to circle him. It sort of hobbles though, it’s wings not able to push its body high enough to lift off the ground completely, instead dragging its tail on the ground.

Junmyeon remains calm, and when the dragon stops moving, being now closer to him, Junmyeon does his best to pet it.  “You’re beautiful, do you know that?” he mumbles, softly touching the dragon’s scales. To his surprise, the skin is warm and smooth, and feels nothing like he has ever touched before.

Not soon after, the dragon seems to relax and starts to rub its head against Junmyeon’s body. Aft first, the creature seems to be a bit shy, only softly nudging against Junmyeon’s leg, but soon after it playfully rubs its head against Junmyeon’s legs, belly, up to his shoulders.

The dragon seems to enjoy the petting and scoots closer, laying down, so that Junmyeon is able to sit next to it and have a look at its wounds. While having a look at them, he starts to hum a calming melody, hoping that the dragon isn’t under too much pain. 

After inspecting the creature's wounds, Junmyeon lets himself relax. The wounds look bad, but nothing seems to be infected and he is positive that they’ll heel after proper treatment. He leans against the dragon, guiding his eyes towards the blue sky. Like this, they sit until the sun disappears, Junmyeon being happy that the creature trusts him, enjoying the warmth of its body.

After a while he realizes that the dragon has fallen asleep. It must have been under severe stress for the past hours, maybe even days. He honestly doesn’t want to leave, but he has to. Not going home would mean he wouldn’t have time to prepare the delivery. He promised his customer to be on time. And nothing is more important to Junmyeon than sticking to his word. 

He comes back the following day, and basically whenever he can. He brings back whatever the dragon needs - food, medicine, bandages, mending supply, blams or treats. Anything that he can find to help the dragon recover and heal.

Sometimes Junmyeon comes back and finds the dragon with fresh injuries, making him even more worried for the creature. At first it doesn’t like the bandages which smell of the special medicine Junmyeon put on them, and it seems ready to destroy them but after seeing how they reduce its pain and sensing that Junmyeon just wants the best for the creatures well-being, it doesn’t fight Junmyeon on it.

Whenever he visits the dragon, he snatches up whatever local fruits he can find. There aren’t a lot that the creature likes, and those of its taste are usually higher off the ground. Junmyeon struggles with reaching them and sometimes it takes half an hour for him to climb a tree until he’s able to collect some fruits, but the dragon’s happy expression whenever he gets to eat those snacks is worth the effort in Junmyeon’s eyes.

Slowly, Junmyeon grows fond of the dragon. It gets harder and harder for him to go home when it's time to leave and at days on which he cannot go out into the woods, he feels strangely sad, the dragon always at the back of his mind.

One day, the dragon doesn’t let Junmyeon leave. He grabs a hold of his shirt and pulls him closer, wanting Junmyeon to sleep next to it, half sitting on the ground, half laying on top of it. That surprises Junmyeon at first. He hasn’t expected the dragon to get attached to him as well.

“I can’t stay with you, darling,” he tries to explain, dragging a comforting hand over the dragon’s head.

The creature leans into the touch, almost dog-like, and closes it’s big, round eyes. It seems satisfied with Junmyeon petting, not paying much attention to his words.

As soon as Junmyeon stops and wants to turn, it quickly catches a piece of Junmyeon’s clothing with his mouth and drags him back, causing Junmyeon to fall on his butt. 

For a second the creature almost looks worried but then Junmyeon laughs and it relaxes.

“I know you want me to stay,” Junmyeon chuckles, trying to get back on his feet, which isn’t the easiest task with a very heavy dragon half laying, half sitting on top of him. “It’s not like I don’t want to stay, believe me I do. But I have things to do back home.”

He manages to get back on his feet after some struggle. “I have to clean the house, keep up with the orders, go to the market and buy food and important ingredients,” he explains further, the dragon now laying at his feets, eyes watery.

It’s hard for him to leave the dragon alone like this, especially since he doesn’t really know if the creature understands any of his words. He doesn’t want it to think that he doesn’t care about it, or even worse- wants to leave.

“I will come back tomorrow,” Junmyeon promises, trying his best to sound reassuring. He pets the dragon’s head one last time before finally turning and walking towards the general direction of his home, leaving a wailing dragon behind.

 

* * *

 

After awhile Junmyeon notices the changes. The dragon’s wounds are almost healed now and the creature is able to fly without any troubles. It reminds him just how much time has passed and that the season is changing, which consequently means that the dragon will have to move out of the area.

With the dragon healthy and strong, Junmyeon knows that means that the animal will probably move on. Knowing that makes him sad and happy at the same time. He wants it to be free, but doesn’t want to never see it again.

His mind so clouded with the dragon, he almost forgets the other thing that the season changing brings- heavy rainstorms. Wind moving in from the northern coast clashes with the warmer air of the past summer, causing torrential downpours. 

One morning, while Junmyeon is on his way into the woods, the wind picks up, giving him a brief warning of what is to come. The clouds tear open and release so much rain that he thinks the entire ocean is coming down. 

By the time he has reached the place where the dragon usually meets up with him, Junmyeon is completely wet. The sky is a dim gray now, spilling a constant downpour, and something is wrong.

The dragon isn’t there. 

His eyes try to tell Junmyeon that he’s in the wrong place, but his sense of direction is too keen. He’s at the right place, he can’t be mistaken. It’s gone. Junmyeon’s heart sinks and his legs give out.

The dragon is gone, probably forever. He knows it’s only natural for the dragon to leave this place to find a new home, one which is sunny, warm and safe. Still, he can’t help but feel incredibly sad. He didn’t even get to say goodbye.

Rain starts to pelt his face. He’s not sure if he’s crying or if it’s just the rain, wetting his face. After a few minutes, the rational part of his brain tells Junmyeon, he’ll catch a cold if he stays in the woods for any longer, so he forces himself to stand up and go home.

 

* * *

Junmyeon’s mind has been a storm for the past three nights and it has begun to take its toll on him. A paleness has reached across his face and is tugging at his brown eyes, just as a strange weight does the same to his shoulders. 

He can’t understand what has brought this on as the last month has been relatively uneventful. There are less travelers on the roads, the deliveries have all worked out well and the interim between seasons are granting a much needed reprieve.  

But still something is casting his mind in shadow, lurking over him without seemingly any reason or form. Everything at work is working out, so what could possibly cause all this distress? All he can do is hope his morning meditation will provide an insight, to show some beam of light through the spector over his mind.

A loud noise tells him that will not be happening this morning, however. Running his hands through his dark hair, pushing the short strands that have fallen into his face back, he sighs, hoping to expel his worries long enough to handle whatever the stranger knocking on his door desires. 

The sight that greets Junmyeon as he opens his door leaves him perplexed. Instead of a customer, a tall boy stands in front of him, barely dressed in an oversized sweater. The sweater is dirty - full of mud, as it seems - and only slightly covers his legs, causing Junmyeon to flush at the sight of the exposed skin. 

Before Junmyeon can open his mouth to say anything, the boy is already hugging him, squeezing the life out of the two heads smaller man. Even though the boy is wearing only one piece of clothing, he’s incredibly warm. Junmyeon tries to get some space between himself and the stranger, but the boy is surprisingly strong, and seems to be having no plans of letting him go. 

“Hello,” Junmyeon stutters against the boy’s chest, taking in an old smell of mud mixing with something else, something very familiar. “Sorry, but could you let me go please-” 

The boy immediately lets go and stumbles back, seemingly startled.

Junmyeon blinks a few times, utterly confused as to why this handsome stranger has turned up in front of his home, barely dressed and covered in dirt.

“Sorry, but do I know you?” he asks, scrutinizing the boy’s face. Something about him seems familiar, as if-

Those eyes. Junmyeon has seen them before and he knows exactly where. Without hesitation he pulls the boy back in his embrace, tears clouding his sight. The boy doesn’t try to pull away from his touch, but leans in closer, laughing and burying his face in Junmyeon’s shoulder.

That laugh. It brings a rush of color to the room around him and makes his heart melt. It warms the entire room and leaves Junmyeon unable to resist laughing with him.

His dragon came home.

 

* * *

 

The sound of footsteps crunching through the thick snow has a funny rhythm to it. Junmyeon walks in an average pace as he looks at all the trees around him, some barren in the cold months with others holding a dark green.

Infront of him, the little dragon - as Junmyeon likes to call him - jumps through the snow like a child. Right now, he looks rather like an elf, with his big ears sticking out under his red hair. Admittedly, it makes Junmyeon’s heart speed faster. 

The boy hasn’t talked a single word since he turned up at Junmyeon’s doorstep months ago. There’s a lot that Junmyeon doesn’t know about him- his name, his origin, his voice, and sometimes this leaves Junmyeon worrying, but right now, he’s not thinking about that.

Instead, he enjoys watching the boy playing in the snow. His steps are fast and short, constantly in motion, flittering between the trees like a bird. They make countless imprints in the blanket of white covering the hills as they make their way back home from a nice walk.

Junmyeon always stays behind him, his eyes piercing through the hazy gray of the still winter. The snow has stopped for the day, allowing them an easy journey, but nothing could let him drop his guard. He won’t let anything happen to his little dragon.

He only lets himself relax a little when he notices that they have already crept upon a familiar trail. They’re nearly there.

“Chanyeol!” he calls out, noticing that the boy is running in the wrong direction, leaving the trail. The boy turns, his red hair almost glowing and blue eyes shining in the white haze around them.

Junmyeon points at the trail and the boy happily follows his directions, seemingly unaffected by the cold, the winter wind unable to touch him.

Junmyeon watches as the boy moves around and smiles at the sight of him. Chanyeol. That’s the name Junmyeon has given the boy after he had noticed that he doesn’t react to ‘little dragon’. It’s the first name that came into his mind when thinking about a dragon- his favourite fairy tale has a dragon in it, called just like that.

Junmyeon’s home fades in from the distance as they round the last hill. Chanyeol turns and reaches for Junmyeon’s hand, almost stumbling over his feet and falling to the ground.

Junmyeon makes a sound that is either him clearing his throat or stifling a chuckle. “Careful,” he smiles, shaking his head, bits of snow bouncing out of his hair.

Chanyeol smiles dimply as he catches his balance, surprisingly carefully taking hold of Junmyeon’s hand, as if it were something precious.

Above them, a branch begins to shift. Sooner than either of them can think, a sudden sheet of snow drops on them both as the branch fails to hold the weight any longer. Junmyeon can’t do anything to hide his smile when Chanyeol starts squealing, and they both end up giggling as they brush snow out of each other’s hair.

Out of the cold air, the warmth of the cabin greets them both. As soon as Junmyeon sits down on the living room’s sofa, Chanyeol pushes himself into his embrace with a giggle, nudging his nose against Junmyeon’s collar.

At first, Junmyeon freezes, again having to remind himself how clingy Chanyeol is, always wanting to be touched and petted. He slowly relaxes into the touch, still not used to the constant skinship that Chanyeol is demanding at any time of the day.

Chanyeol’s skin is warm, and Junmyeon let’s the boy have his way, focusing on the sensation in his fingertips as he traces his way around Chanyeol’s torso, feeling the muscles flex as he pulls them closer and the rough spots in his skin where cuts have since healed.

His hands come upward, stopping over the boy’s heart. Junmyeon’s fingers linger there as he feels it beat. For a moment, he wishes he could ask all those questions that linger in his mind for too long. 

_Where does he come from? How is it that dragons can exists? What is he? Why does he stay here when he can be anywhere else in this wo_ rld?

Under his fingertips, Junmyeon can feel Chanyeol’s heartbeat speed up. Something seems to be weighing on him, stealing his breath. Junmyeon’s eyes flutter back open to watch him.

He isn’t sure what he expected, but something seems to be worrying the boy. Junmyeon has never seen Chanyeol so serious. In an attempt to calm him, he holds him tighter, but the boy still feels distant. A hole begins to open up in Junmyeon’s chest as fear begins to take hold of him.

_ Does he want to leave? Has he changed his mind? _ Everything in Junmyeon races from the possibility, intensifying the storm inside him.

Chanyeol’s eyes are on him, eyebrows tightly drawn together. He opens his mouth a few times, seemingly struggling to express something. After a few tries that all ended in him making a few sounds that sounded like squealing coming from a dragon, Chanyeol closes his mouth in dissapointment and lets his shoulders sink.

Junmyeon shifts over, moving until he has the boy upright in his lap and facing him. “What’s wrong?” he asks as he tipps Chanyeol’s chin up to look into his eyes.

He tries to ignore his burning throat and the doubts which are clawing at him. He doesn’t want Chanyeol to throw him away, to leave like everyone else.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks, voice shaking, unable to hide his nervousness.

Chanyeol’s eyes go wide. He shakes his head and then pauses, his eyes suddenly focused on Junmyeon’s lips.

“Do you-” Jumyeon mumbles, fingers twitching nervously. “Do you want to leave?”

Chanyeol quickly shakes his head again. He stares at Junmyeon for a few seconds, before leaning in and pecking him on the cheek. 

Junmyeon feels like he’s burning. He quickly hurries to hide his face, standing up and pretending to fetch something to drink. 

The smile doesn’t leave his face for the rest of the week.

 

* * *

 

Junmyeon’s world is spinning since Chanyeol entered his life and is showing no signs of stopping. His heart races every time he hears the boy laugh, enjoying this simple thing, that before had seemed insignificant to him. 

He has come to adore the boys dimples, his big ears, his dumb jokes and his silliness. Everything about Chanyeol seems to be endearing. 

One evening, Junmyeon desperately tries to slow everything down and focus on the dishes he’s cleaning in the sink, but the task goes by too quickly to be of any help. He finds his eyes wandering right back to Chanyeol as his hands finished the menial task out of reflex.

Junmyeon wants to walk over and see what has caught the boy’s attention, but he finds himself frozen, unable to move as his focus drifts. The way Chanyeol glows, as if all of his energy is coming from his endless curiosity. The way he sways back and forth, moving to a melody that is completely his own. Junmyeon can almost hear it as he watches Chanyeol.

Briefly, he wonders if Chanyeol misses to fly at night, if he possibly wants to catch a glance at the stars which he used to be able to see every night. This thought makes Junmyeon sad. He feels guilty. Selfish. A doubt rises in his mind like a thunderhead.

He loves Chanyeol. He doesn’t even have to question that. He knows every part of him has fallen for the dragon. Every part of him wants Chanyeol. But how could he be so selfish and force Chanyeol to stay with him, here, alone in this lonely cabin in the woods, so far from everything that could make the boy happy?

Doubts and worries creep up his spine like chills, clawing at his mind, but he pushes it all away. He makes a few steps forward, moving his arms to Chanyeol’s waist, hugging the much taller boy from behind.

Chanyeol chuckles, his deep voice causing Junmyeon to feel very warm inside. The dragon boy is way too precious. Junmyeon has to smile. His worries become distant, blurred. Chanyeol turns, securing Junmyeon’s hand on his side and hugging Junmyeon back.

For some reason they fit together perfectly, the hug just the right amount of warm and tight, and Junmyeon buries his face in Chanyeol’s chest, trying his best to hide the blush, everything at once making his heart race.

Chanyeol doesn’t seem to mind, and pecks him on the forehead. After a while of holding Junmyeon like this, he proceeds to give him soft, little butterfly kisses all over his head, down to Junmyeon’s neck where he holds on as tight as he can manage, pushing his nose into the man’s neck.

Junmyeon closes his eyes in content and thinks Chanyeol smells like love.

 

* * *

Junmyeon thinks, one quiet evening when Chanyeol snoozes in the bed beside him, that meeting the dragon a year go, was the possible best thing that could have happened in his life. Before knowing Chanyeol, he had always known a hardscrabble kind of love. The kind of love with dirt under its nails, not warm or soft but tough, rough around the edges, but not sweet, not kind.

No fairytale endings here, not even fairytale beginnings, but a love that is reluctant, weary and resigned to instability. And yes, to a certain degree that’s still true. Junmyeon still walks warily around the edge of anything that feels like caring too much, like getting too attached to something that could leave any time, like tying his heart too much to anyone else.  

But in the last year he has found a warm kind of love through Chanyeol. A fire kind of love. A loud, healthy, laughter filled kind of love. A quiet nights kind of love. A long standing kind of love that seems to go on and on and on. 

And with time, Junmyeon has started to learn to live in the warmth of it. He has begun to let go of the constant worrying, the anxiety becoming easier and easier to handle with every day he can spent with Chanyeol. He now allows himself to enjoy what he has with Chanyeol, without labeling it, without judging or pressuring himself.

Slowly, he has learned to laugh at how often he wants to say I love you. He has learned to shake his head slightly and waste moments because there will be more.

For most of his life he has known a hardscrabble kind of love. This year he’s learning to know a love that feels like good stories, like such an fortune of wonderful times that he can afford to waste some, like smiling at the way Chanyeol stumbles over his feet, or bumps into things, or laughs so hard that he spits fire, or does dumb things that Junmyeon finds so endearing, like not always having to seize every moment because there will be more.

 

**Author's Note:**

> No idea if this was any good, but here you go! I'm thinking of making a series out of this...
> 
> /sobs/ I just really, really love Kim Junmyeon and Park Chanyeol.


End file.
